Do you love the authoritarian rush of adrenaline you get from bossing people around, dictating and enforcing arbitrary rules as you see fit? Sure, we all do! But finding a place where your talents can be recognized is such a chore – You’re no longer welcome at the Public Library after “The Incident”, and your housepets just look at you funny whenever you try to get them organized!
Well what if I were to tell you that there *IS* a better way? Introducing the all-new Captain Slinky Presents Oddmall Emporium of The Weird Merry Creepsmass Between-The-Holidays Art, Craft & Gift Show VOLUNTEER PROGRAM! Sign up today to see if YOU qualify, and before you know it you could have all the following:
- A cheap, hastily-made Lanyard designating you as a Temporary Underling!
- The clout associated with being a Volunteer at the very first ever Captain Slinky Oddmall Show (a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!)
- VIP Access to the exclusive Vendors & Staff Lounge, the hottest spot in Monroe (hot because that’s where we have the free coffee and snacks)
- LUNCH! Yeah, we’ll feed you!
- A T-Shirt, maybe (Depends on how many volunteers we get)!
- Our neverending gratitude!
- The satisfaction of a Job Well Done (Yeah, I don’t get it either, but my Dad always tried to use this one on me soooo… yeah.)
- An authoritarian rush of adrenaline from bossing people around, helping us set stuff up, helping us take stuff down, enforcing mask mandates and giving directions to people!
GLORY AND GOOD FORTUNE AWAIT THOSE WHO ACT NOW! Click here to apply now and before you know it you, too, could be telling lusty tales of high, bold adventure that include your time as a member of Captain Slinky’s Oddmall Crew!