Author: Captain Slinky Presents Oddmall Emporium of The Weird
This is the Captain Slinky Presents Oddmall Emporium of The Weird social media account that has more of Captain Slinky's IRL thoughts and musings than anyplace else - Now you can see just what kind of a jerk I REALLY am ;) https://linktr.ee/csoddmall
ODDMALL RETURNS TO GEORGETOWN! At every show we’ve run this decade, people have asked when we are going to return for the Georgetown Carnival on Nebraska Street AND NOW WE HAVE OUR ANSWER! Captain Slinky Presents Oddmall Emporium of The Weird At The Georgetown Carnival June 10 2023 at Nebraska Street in Georgetown (obviously)! Twenty of our finest, oddest vendors that are willing to do an outdoor show in Washington State, lining both sides of Nebraska Street surrounded by live music, a beer garden, and all sorts of fun! Join us, won’t you? More info as it becomes available!
If you get this Frank Zappa reference, then we can be friends
Hey folks, Captain Slinky here…
I’ve been trying to get us a block of hotel rooms in Monroe for the upcoming Captain Slinky Presents Oddmall Emporium of The Weird Art, Craft, Gift & Toy Show April 29-30 at the Evergreen State Fairgrounds in Monroe, WA, and it looks like it just isn’t going to happen. It’s either NO DISCOUNT for groups under (INSERT NUMBER OF ROOMS THE HOTEL HAS), or they want to charge us MORE per room in order to hold them! I’m obviously doing something wrong, and I am sorry that I have failed you đŸ˜¦
Hopefully, you will find this list of links to the closest-to-the-fairgrounds local hotels, along with my personal observations of them, to be helpful!
EVERGREEN INN & SUITES, MONROE – This is the hotel that Captain and Mama Slinky will likely be staying at. It’s back enough from the road that it’s nice and quiet, but really close to everything you could ever need. ADA Compliant, free continental breakfast with both Waffles AND Sausage Gravy (this is how I judge hotels). As clean and as modern as a late-90’s hotel can be without, like, a MAJOR renovation.
BEST WESTERN SKY VALLEY INN– It’s a Best Western. Ever been to a Best Western? Even if you haven’t been to a Best Western, just think what the words “Best Western Inn” brings to mind. Got it? Yeah, that’s it. It’s EXACTLY that. Pet friendly! “Includes Breakfast” which, in my experience, means bagels, donuts and yogurt to go. If it don’t say “International”, it ain’t got Waffles & Sausage Gravy! Probably the newest of the options, though.
FAIRGROUNDS INN – This is the hotel your dad lived in for a while when your Mom left him. It’s a place that JUST BY LOOKING AT IT, you’re pretty sure you know what it smells like in there. Right on a VERY busy, loud road. No breakfast at all (*siiiiigh*) other than a vending machine. Amenities include Bathroom, Soap, Electricity, Water… very basic. Oddly enough, I think the rooms her are the most updated of any hotel in Monroe, though, having a strong 2012 vibe!
EVERGREEN STATE FAIRGROUNDS RV PARK – And of course if any of you are Recreational-Vehicling your way here, the Fairgrounds has an official RV park that is very reasonably priced and we’ve never heard a complaint from any vendors that have chosen to stay there. No breakfast as far as I know, sooooo…
There’s probably more in the area, these are just the ones I know are closest to the Fairgrounds. You could probably stay in Woodinville or even Bothell and have a 20-minute drive to the fairgrounds if you like, you might even save a buck or two!
NOW AVAILABLE IN THE ODDMALL MERCH SHOP: This very special LGBTQA+ (aka “The El Jibbities” – LGBT’s) Rainbow Variant of our stunning Captain Slinky Presents Oddmall Emporium of The Weird SPRUNG Art, Craft, Gift & Gaming Show artwork by local art sensation Zachary “Goodbye Zach” Diaz! So how is this helping The El Jibbities other than just being a callous corporate cash-grab exploiting the current “Woke” media trends by slapping a rainbow on an already existing product?
Well FIRST of all, how dare you. SECONDLY, all profits from shirt sales – ALL shirt sales, not just this rainbow one – will be donated to one of our most beloved vendors, Frakking Bombs. Their family has been dealing with non-stop harassment and vandalism for over a year now involving rainbow flags and fences, and you can read all about it by clicking here and just scrolling back a bit to see everything BUT LONG STORY SHORT, THEY NEED TO RAISE A LOT OF MONEY TO CONSTRUCT A METAL FENCE BECAUSE THESE JERKHOLES HAVE BEEN TRYING TO BURN THEIR WOODEN ONE DOWN.
And before you ask, YES the Police got involved, YES they went to court, NO nothing was done about it beyond a stern “If I catch you kids doing this type of stuff again I shall become QUITE displeased”. It’s beyond those steps, now it’s all about staying protected and staying safe.
We only make like a buck off of each shirt after the on-demand materials, printing, sales fees, taxes, and order fulfillment, so whatever gets made from these sales we’ll be doubling and then rounding up to the nearest hundred.
Or of you want to give them some cash directly, you can always slip ’em a few bucks through ko-fi at their address ko-fi.com/frakkingbombs but then you wouldn’t get a nifty shirt!
That’s ONE HUNNERT-N-FIDDY 10’x10′ spaces full of the oddest, awesomest, weirdest artists you’ve ever seen assembled under one roof! You will see things that astound you! Things that mystify you! Things that will make you seriously question YOUR OWN SANITY!!! Also? FOOD TRUCKS!!! Free admission, free parking, free gaming, free FUN! Mark it on your calendar NOW! April 29-30 at the Evergreen State Fairgrounds in Monroe, WA!
Well I’m a peanut bar and I’m here to say There’s only 12 Oddmall spaces left as of today!
Another day, another dime, another rhyme, another dollar Another stuffed shirt with another white collar!
Criminals, Wall Street, taking the pie And all the black man gets is a plate of white lies!
Prisons RECRUITIN’ ’em, police be SHOOTIN’ ’em Rap artists LOOTIN’ ’em! Labels all DILUTIN’ ’em!
Barack Obama is a-SCARED of ME! ‘Cause I don’t swallow knowledge AND I SPIT IT FOR FREE! LET ME CLEAR MY THROAT, AH HA, HA HA!
Well! As The Dean said, there are only TWELVE VENDOR SPACES left for the big Captain Slinky Presents Oddmall Emporium of The Weird “SPRUNG” Art, Craft, Gift & Gaming Show April 29-30 at the Evergreen State Fairgrounds in Monroe, WA! And just NINE SPACES left in the Designated Gaming Area! ACT FAST! Head to http://www.oddmall.co/sprung2apply and get you a space before they’re all gone!
Every year, our annual “Between The Holidays” holiday of Creepsmas is our BIGGEST SHOW of the year – we’ve even had vendors SELL OUT OF PRODUCT at these Creepsmas events! It’s gotten SO POPULAR, we end up turning away dozens of vendors every year! So THIS year, we’re kicking it up a notch or 27 by renting out *TWO BUILDINGS*! And so we will have, in the Don Britton Livestock Pavilion (the building we have had every post-pandemic show in thus far), the Sno-Co Toy Show with over a hundred vendors selling you toys, collectables and other great Holiday Gift Items that probably won’t be hand-made… and then next door in the giant EVENT CENTER we will have nearly TWO HUNDRED MORE VENDORS selling you the same weird-o art, craft, gift and whatnot you’ve come to love and expect from your old pal Captain Slinky and our little Crafttacular Freak Show!
This is, of course, a HUGE RISK. But it sounds SO COOL! The paperwork is already signed! The wheels are more than in motion! Many of you know that we have made a vow to never, EVER promote or sell an event we don’t have 100% certainty of moving forward with, and by golly we are moving FORWARD!
“Okay, Slinky, you’ve got my interest; how do I sign up?” I’M SO GLAD YOU ASKED! YOU CAN’T! YET!
HOWEVER! Those who have signed up for a space at either our April 29/30 Oddmall SPRUNG show or the May 27th Sno-Co-Toy Show will have FIRST CRACK at the spaces for CREEPSMAS! You’ll get full week head start to choose your spaces – you all want corner spaces, right? THIS is your best chance at getting a corner!
Applications are now open for the next Captain Slinky Presents Oddmall Emporium of The Weird show, “SPRUNG 2“! This is our annual show that is focused on tabletop, card and board games so that’s the type of vendors we’re looking for – as well as our usual assortment of anyone who makes weird, unique, bizarre stuff. Don’t feel like you quite fit in at the Elks Club Ladies Auxiliary Craft Show & Bake Sale with your drawings of screeching weasels or bedazzled cow skulls? COME TO US! WE LOVE YOU!
In previous years, we have offered a semi-professional photographs with Krampus to all our customers, but there were some pretty major flaws and delays in the system which meant there were a lot of folks who just never got their pictures! That’s why THIS YEAR, we’re doing things a bit differently – YOU CAN TAKE YOUR OWN DANG PICTURE!
No, SERIOUSLY! We all walk around with these thousand-dollar digital photography studios in our pockets that we call “Phones”, right? Well let’s use them! We will have one of our people right there in the Lobby with Krampus and his Brats ready to take as many pics as you like WITH YOUR OWN PHONE! And there you have it! No waiting for digitization, no uploading, no download codes, just “Hey now I have a picture of ME AND KRAMPUS” and then you post it to your favorite Social Media Platform!
Because we live in The Future!
Oh, and you could win some of the weirdest prizes, too, just by tagging us in your post! Did I forget to mention that? YEAH! Take your picture with Krampus, Squatcho Man, Monoculon or Doc! Post it! Tag us (INSTAGRAM: @csoddmall FACEBOOK: @OddmallPNW, or just use the hastag of #Creepsmas2 on any other social media platform) and you could be walking away with a prize worth more than FIFTY DOLLARS! Three times this weekend – Once on Saturday, Twice on Sunday) I will make an announcement over the loudspeakers. All you’ll have to do is show us your post where you tagged us or used the hashtag, and YOU WIN!
ODDMALL Emporium Of The Weird - PNW Editions 